Unless you've actually experienced the weird things I've been discussing, you can't possibly understand the chaotic feelings that plague a person with this frightening ability.
It's not as if I think: 'I thought about it, envisioned it, or dreamed it and it happened.'
It's much more than that. There's a great deal of guilt that goes along with it.
I can't tell you how many times I've wondered if I was unintentionally causing these things to happen.
Did my mind focus so hard on looking for my puppy's blood that I caused the accident? Was I watching my parents say goodbye to my uncle so intently that I was the cause of his death? Did I dwell so hard about the fire in my home, that it happened because of me?
I've always heard there is a phenomenon known as "mind over matter". Is that what's happening here?
It's a scary idea. What if all this is my fault?
Then my thoughts take another turn. Are these good things? Are they warning me of things to come, helping to prepare me? Helping me to decide what to do in a critical moment?
I guess if I knew, I wouldn't have a problem with it. So I'll just keep muddling along, trying to understand.